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2nd Double Header of the season

After last weeks well fought (maybe - I wasn’t there…) defeat at the hands of second placed Brazlianos we have another double header.  First match kicks off at ten past 8 and then we have a match gap before our second game at quarter past nine.

Please let me know if you can make either, both or neither as soon as possible.  By the way - the best way to let me know is by leaving a comment on the website.  Your first comment will need moderating but I will get an email to tell me.  Please do tell me as I can’t afford these texts that I have to keep sending out!  I’m a cheap skate.

Thanks.

Gaffer pleased with points despite two defeats

St John’s Gaffer, Hoyland, has spoken exclusively to the official SJFC website for the first time since what was possibly the most bizarre evening of football they have ever witnessed.  The Saint’s continued their Premiership fight for survival at Concord on an evening that can only be described as ‘quite cold’ with a double header against last years winners and a team who were probably not old enough to Remember The Titans.

“It was a strange evening.  We went into the first game expecting to lose and that really showed in the first half.  We weren’t confident enough and all played with our heads down.  It hindered our ability to see where we were going so this week in practice we have been trying to look up.  It hasn’t helped yet but we have a few weeks off to get this right.  The second half was much improved.  The opponents obvious footballing ability seemed to be thrown out the window when they decided it would be more fun to try and annoy us.  It didn’t work.  Although Kev did miss a penalty.  I don’t think enough was made of this.  Please - readers - bring this up much more in the future.  We ended up winning the match 5 - 0 despite the fact they scored 6 and we only scored 3.  It’s maths like that that keep you in the Premiership.”

“We were obviously tired for the second game and should really have done better.  We’ll get the Titans in the next leg.”Hoyland then ran out of things to say so left muttering to himself about the fact he’d really like it if someone else had a go at writing stuff for the website…

Saint’s in close season signing

News has just come in that chief scout and top goal scorer, Jon Cooper, has convinced Hoyland to make a new signing.  Details have not yet been confirmed but it is thought that a new player has signed on the dotted line this morning.

“We’re not allowed to say much,” said Hoyland earlier today, “but what I can say is I’m only bringing in people who I think can do a job.  We don’t need anymore… I mean… any boot fillers.  We’ve found a player we like and we’ve made a move.”

In other news goalkeeping legend Martin Lymn has passed a medical and will be fit to start in the Premiership campaign.

Premiership fixtures released

Confirmation of the fixtures for the new season have today been officially released by Match Night.

The draw sees St John’s start with a home tie against the team that took St John’s other name: Real Ale Madrid. A quick look at the official club stats shows that either the team are new to the league or they have a scoring record that is similar to Barber’s last season. The only thing really known about the team is that they wear white.

Of particular note on the fixture list is the two double headers that St John’s will have to endure following the postponement of not one but two fixtures this season.

Club reaction will follow shortly…

Cooper delighted with Golden Boot

A final night brace saw Cooper move to the top of the scorers chart for the much coveted “Sheffield Tuesday Night’s Championship Golden Boot Award” all be it only on top due to alphabetical order. Jon managed a very impressive 22 goals during the campaign.

Cooped said he was very pleased to have won the award, especially as he wasn’t even trying but it would have been nice to have won it outright.

Of particular note is the partnership that has formed between Cooper and Cunliffe who managed a very impressive 13 and only missed out on a place on the top scorer’s chart due to the same alphabetical order system that pushed Cooper to the top. The partnership can only be a good thing for The Saints as they enter the Premiership.

The Gaffer is pleased to see the two players working so well together, “I am pleased to see the two players working so well together” he said. “It didn’t look good when Coops’ foot had a fight with a wall last year but we were delighted with Cunliffe’s form as he banged in 29 in the previous campaign - I think that’s still a club record for one season. Then when Coops returned we weren’t sure if it would work having the two of them playing together but I think the fact they scored over 30 goals between them is proof that it does work.”

Next season there will be a friendly competition between the pair as Cunliffe will be aiming to beat his 29 from 2007 and Cooper will be aiming to get his 100th Saints goal.

Severs Confirms Return to The Saints

The end of the Championship Campaign saw a great run of form from The Saints and that was helped greatly by the return of Severs in a covering role for Ozzie between the sticks.  It was touch and go as to whether or not Hoyland would have to play in goal but now, thanks to some confident performances in goal, it looks as if Severs may become a regular face in the Saints squad.

"It didn’t look like anything was going to happen but then I got a text from Kev asking me to ring him. So I phoned and he said the team was stuffed if Hoyland had to go in goal so I stepped up and obviously did well enough to impress the boss.

"I have agreed to play in the Premiership and I’m delighted."

The experienced midfielder proved a big hit with the Saint’s Fan during his first spell at the club.

"I know the fans have taken to me and I’ve certainly taken to the club. Once I knew that St John’s were interested again it was a very easy decision to make."

Hoyland is now left with a tricky decision as he has to choose who he will play in goal.  "Obviously," he said, "Martin is still our number 1.  Sever’s certainly has the skill and confidence required to play outfield and we hope he will agree to do so, but the competition for the Keepers gloves can only be a good thing.  Can’t it?"

Inter Mi-Nan Win Championship

Story & images courtesy of Match Night Sports Leagues.

Tuesday 19th February saw Inter Mi-Nan clinch the Sheffield Tuesday Night Championship and win promotion to the Premiership. They will be joined in the top flight by runners up St John’s.

The two promotion spots had been settled before the last night of the season, but the small matter of the title was still up for grabs! Inter Ni-Nan and St John’s were level on points going into the last games of the season. St John’s, however, could not continue their great run of form and lost 4-2 to the ever improving Magic All Stars. Inter Ni-Nan played out a 2-2 draw with Wafs Lads to clinch the title by one point! It capped a great first season in the league for Inter Ni-Nan who had led from early in the season and had looked like they would run away with title. However, a few wobbles in the second half of the season capped with some great form from St John’s set up a great climax to the season. The Inter Mi-Nan team are worthy winners and, led by captain Craig O’Brien, will feel they have nothing to fear in the Premiership next season!

St John’s will no doubt be disappointed to miss out on the title, but can be proud of a great season and their promotion to the Premiership. Led by captain Andy Hoyland the team will no doubt be looking forward to testing themselves against the Premiership teams and improving on their previous campaign in the Premiership which ended in relegation.

Courier Logistics were in with a shot of promotion and the title a few weeks ago, however, two losses to their promotion rivals cost them dear and ended the season in fourth. Piffle took third spot - a great first season performance for the team who will feel they can mount a serious challenge on the top two spots next season!

The golden boot was shared between St John’s star striker Jon Cooper and HBP Bens-fica team captain Ben Street, both finishing the season on 22. Alan Davies from Courier Logistics was third with 21 goals.

The golden glove capped a great season for champions Inter Mi-Nan as they took the award with a record of just 24 goals conceded!

Congratulations to all teams who took part in a great season and best of luck in the new season which will kick off on 11^th March.

Gaffer pleased with campaign despite final night

The 2007/2008 Campaign came to a close this week with The Saints securing their second place promotion spot with an impressive defeat at the hands of Magic All Stars - a team that must be looking to improve on their position next season (match report to follow? Anyone?)

Despite the result on the night St John’s left in high spirits as they collected the First Losers medals from Dave and headed off to the pub. Much talk was about next season and The Fight For Survival campaign that is currently being planned. Comments such as “We’re going to get stuffed”, “They’re half our age”, “They look quick” and “Their hair is terrible” could be heard from the team members upon inspection of Premiership winners, Longley and Hove Albion.

“We’re looking forward to the challenge,” said Saint’s manager, Hoyland, “we know it’s going to be tough and we expect to get a good kicking every week. We shall, as always, be aware that Football is the real winner and not worry too much about winning or losing. But we’d like to win at least one game and it is with that in mind we have asked to postpone our first game in the hope that playing two games in one night will mean our opposition are too tired to play.”

“There’s a buzz about the camp at the moment. We have a strong (read: small and ageing) squad and we have been boosted tremendously by the return of Severs who has shown he can perform to a very high standard in any position. We’re delighted he has confirmed his availability for next season. It gives us new options outfield and quality cover between the sticks if a replacement is required for Lymn.”

The fixture list has not yet been released by Match Night but the new season is due to start on the 11th March. Don’t forget to keep checking back to this site for the first (ok, maybe second or third depending on how quickly Goodacre texts us) news about the new fixture list.

Gaffer pleased with team change

It is a night that will go down in history. The night that The Saints confirmed their return to top flight football. And SJFC:Online are pleased to announce an exclusive interview with gaffer, Hoyland.

“Yeah - I was really pleased with tonight. Most of the boys brought down the correct change so I didn’t have to mess about with notes and things. Although someone did pay a fiver and didn’t get any change. I guess I’ll owe them some next week.”

In other news SJFC:Online is pleased to announce work on the new website for the Fight for Survival Campaign has begun and will be ready for the new season due to kick off sometime in March. SJFC:Online spokesman, Hoyland, was heard saying “I broke it on purpose. The new theme is going to be much better with pictures and everything.”

The Final Countdown

As requested, possibly flippantly, here is a breakdown of the way the end of the season could unfold.

Here’s the current table

Pos Team Pld W D L F-A GD Pts

1. Inter Mi-Nan 12 8 2 2 60-20 +40 26
2. St Johns 12 8 2 2 53-25 +28 26
3. Courier Logistics 12 7 1 4 54-35 +19 22
4. Piffle 12 5 4 3 43-39 +4 19
5. Wafs Lads 12 6 0 6 36-33 +3 18
6. H.B.P Bens-fica 12 4 4 4 38-39 -1 16
7. Magic All Stars 12 1 3 8 33-61 -28 6
8. Westside Wanderers 12 1 0 11 24-89 -65 3

With two games left to play, there are three teams vying for promotion, and any of them could mess it up.

A quick look at the form book tells us that St Johns are unbeaten in 7 (seven) games. Inter Mi-Nan’s from has slumped picking up just 13 points in the last 7 games, while Couriers have collected a mere 10 points from the last 21 available. But more importantly, and definitely more interestingly, what are the potential connotations and permutations we could witness over the next fortnight?

In order for St Johns to win the title, quite simply, we have to win both of games, scoring lots of goals, and hope that Inter Mi-Nan don’t win both of their games, or at least score twelve less goals than us in the next two games.

But what must happen in order for St Johns to get promoted. Well, this is where it gets a bit more complicated.

Lets say next week, we lose and Inter Mi-Nan, and Courier, who play each other, draw. The top of the table would read:

1. Inter Mi Nan 27
2. St Johns 26
3. Courier 23

Which would mean that St Johns could get away with losing the last game as well, as long as Courier’s goal difference doesn’t get 10 better than ours. If we lose next week, Inter and Courier draw, but we get a point out of the last game of the season, we are up.

Lets say next week, we lose, and Inter beat Courier. We would then be up, as the table would read like this:

1. Inter Mi Nan 29
2. St Johns 26
3. Courier 22

Courier being unable to reach us with one game remaining.

Lets say next week, we lose, and Courier beat Inter. The table would look like this:

1. Inter 26
2. St Johns 26
3. Courier 25

Meaning that we would need to win our last game of the season to guarantee promotion.

So there are the connotations for if we lose next week. But what happens if we don’t lost.

If we draw next week, and Inter and Courier draw, the table would read:

1. Inter 27
2. St Johns 27
3. Courier 23

We would be promoted.

If we draw, and Inter beat Courier, the table would read

1. Inter 29
2. St Johns 27
3. Courier 22

St Johns promoted.

If we draw, and Courier beat Inter however, the table would read

1. St Johns 27
2. Inter 26
3. Courier 25

Meaning that we would need to win the last game of the season to guarantee promotion. Although we would rest at the top of the table after next weeks matches, this isn’t actually the safest we could be. Should we draw, and Courier win by 10 goals, they could go up instead of us (assuming that Inter beat Waf’s Lads).

Basically if Courier don’t win, it would need a miraculous haul of goals on the last day of the season for them to go up instead of us.

Ok, so what happens if we should win next week.

We get promoted.

Cutting through all the crap of the statistical analysis, surely that should be motivation enough to win next week. Shouldn’t it? I am of course making the vast assumption that we want to get promoted.

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